To a teenage girl, friendships mean everything. We view our friends as an extension of ourselves, people we can confide in, laugh with, and cry with. We trust our friends with our deepest, darkest secrets; we trust our friends not to hurt us, and to share in our happiness with us. We never, in a million years think that a friend would be capable of betraying our trust. I remember the first time I met Sydney; it was my first day of seventh grade and I was a new student at Cypress Christian. She was the first girl I met, and the first new friend I made. We did everything together. We had sleepovers at each other’s houses just about every weekend, staying up late at night giggling about boys, talking about fashion, and discovering how many things we had in common. “We’re like two peas in a pod.” Sydney would say. “We’re like sisters from another misters.” I would reply. We both liked the color pink, we were both cheerleaders, and unfortunately, we both had the same taste in boys.
His name was Walker, and he was the cutest boy in seventh grade. Every girl in seventh grade at Cypress Christian went weak in the knees when Walker walked by. A simple smile from Walker made even the most sensible girl blush. Sydney and I were no exception. Our first fight was about Walker; Sydney thinking he should like her better because he had known her longer than me, and me thinking that he should like me better because, well, just because. I remember eating lunch with Sydney and my mom at Johnny Rockets, discussing my upcoming birthday party and whom I was going to invite. Obviously, I was going to invite Walker to the party, but Sydney and I actually got into a fight about who was going to dance with Walker first. “I’m going to ask Walker to be my date to the party,” I told Sydney. “You can’t ask him to be your date, I was going to ask him to be my date.” Sydney replied. To end the fight, I remember my mom telling us that we should leave that decision to Walker. We unhappily agreed. This was hard for me because with Sydney it’s always the battle for who wins the argument, and of coarse, I had to win. I remember thinking that it was MY birthday party, and I should be the special princess that day, not Sydney. She could feel special on her birthday. I was determined to win Walker’s heart; I didn’t care if Sydney also liked him.
The night of my party arrived, and yes, Walker was they’re looking like a movie star with his curly, blond hair falling down over his light, blue eyes. The moment arrived, the first slow dance, and YES, he asked me to dance! It was my birthday and I felt like a princess dancing with my prince. Needless to say, Sydney was not happy. “You can’t put your hand on her there,” she would say to Walker as she walked around us during our dance. “Quit dancing so close,” she continued, ruining the dance for me. She didn’t get any happier the next day either when Walker asked me, in a text message, if I would be his girlfriend. “I like you, will you be my girlfriend?” It said. I was officially Walker’s girlfriend, and I had never been happier in my whole life. I remember feeling like a rock star. How lucky I was to have the hottest guy in seventh grade as my boyfriend. I knew that Sydney would be upset, but honestly I didn’t care. I thought if she were truly my friend, she would be happy for me. Boy was I wrong!
Monday morning came and I couldn’t wait to tell all my friends about my new boyfriend. Everybody screamed, and shared in my excitement, everyone except Sydney. My best friend in the whole world was mad at me, and declared a personal war against me from that day on. To my face, she was still nice to me, but behind my back, she did everything she could think of to break up Walker and I. She called Walker and told him how much she loved him, how much she wanted to be his girlfriend. She told him how mean I was. She spread gossip about me. “Did you know Emily and Walker kissed on the Farris wheel at the rodeo.” She would tell our friends. “Emily is such a slut,” She would jealously add. And the icing on top of the cake was the day a group of us went to the mall. My best friend in the whole world took my boyfriend aside and told him a lie. She told him that I was planning on breaking up with him, and that he needed to hurry up and break up with me before I got the opportunity to do it first. Of course I didn’t know this. Just as Sydney had planned, Walker did break up with me that night. “Um, Emily,” Walker said as he sat me down, “I think we should break up, but I’d like to still stay friends.” I was crushed. Like the good friend that Sydney was, she actually lent me her shoulder to cry on that night, and many nights after that. I thought about how lucky I was to have a friend like Sydney. I remember spending the night at her house that night and how hard she tried to make me laugh.
Of course over the next couple of days, the truth came out. When I asked Walker why he had broken up with me, his reply was, “I thought you wanted to break up with me.” “Why would you think that?” I asked. Sadly, he responded, “Because that’s what Sydney told me when we were at the mall. She said you were going to break up with me, and I needed to hurry up and break up with you.” I was devastated. I felt like not only had I just lost my boyfriend, but I had also just lost my best friend, my “BFF”, the one person I felt I could trust more than anyone else. My awesome seventh grade year officially tanked. I was miserable, school was terrible, and I couldn’t wait for the school year to end. I had nobody to talk to or help me get through this hard time. Everybody thought that I was the bad guy because of all the rumors Sydney had spread. I couldn’t believe it when people were actually feeling sorry for Sydney. There was so much drama involved with the whole thing; people were sick and tired of hearing about our fight. Frankly, so was I.
Over the summer Sydney and I did pick up the broken pieces of our friendship. We hung out at each other’s houses again, we took vacations together, we went shopping, and I worked on trusting Sydney again. I was confused by this new emotion of betrayal. I had never experienced anything like it before, and it was hard for me to understand. Eventually, during our eight-grade year, I found that things were never going to be the same. I tried to love her, I tried to forgive her, but things were different between us now. We fought more over little things. We resented each other. I felt she had betrayed me, and she justified her behavior by thinking that I had betrayed her by going out with Walker in the first place. What had started out as a wonderful, beautiful friendship, ended because of betrayal. Another year has now gone by. Sydney and I go to different schools now, we email each other from time to time, but we have grown apart. She has her new friends, and I have mine. I wouldn’t say that I have a new “best” friend, and I doubt that she does either. Maybe one day, we will be able to put this behind up and allow our friendship to grow again. Or, maybe that one-day will never come, only time will tell.
I often ask myself what I have learned from this experience. I believe that because of how Sydney treated me, I have become a better friend. I have learned how NOT to treat other people. I have learned that if a girl likes a boy, I should probably stay away from that boy. And most importantly I have learned that girls are capable of betrayal, and friends should not necessarily be chosen on what you have in common, but on how they treat you.
Betrayal is a word from Middle English and it was originally bitrayen. There are many forms of betrayal, and it is common within a culture to have varying degrees of punishment for betrayal, most of which are rather severe as it is considered one of the more painful and unsympathetic acts a person may do.
Why betrayal is considered so severe?
Almost all betrayal involves some sort of premeditation, including if the betrayal is through an act of omittance. It involves using the trust that has been built up and earned for personal use or gain. The trust is often broken once the betrayal is clearly visible.
The severity of betrayal
It is considered a severe act because it is more than just lying. People may lie to gain trust in order to betray it, but the fact is that lying on its own merit is not as bad as betrayal. A person may lie to another without any form of trust existing, and the more trust that has built then the bigger the betrayal. There is often an amount of lying involved in a betrayal, though this is not always the case.
More unsympathetic than most crimes
A person may murder out of revenge or in order to help ease suffering, but since betrayal requires trust and the breaking of that trust, it is considered more unsympathetic. A person may understand a theft in order to feed a family, but people rarely understand a premeditated act of building trust in order to break that trust for personal gain.
If trust has been established, then even aiding the enemy of the one that trusts is still betrayal. It is also betrayal if one uses the trust of one person (or thing) in order to gain the trust of another person (or thing); the thing may be a company or even a country. The longer the trust is maintained after the betrayal, then the more severe the act of betrayal is.
After six years of marriage a woman may sleep with another man. This is a betrayal because there was a promise of monogamy, plus the implied emotions and feelings that are tied with the woman claiming she is in love are all part of promises based on trust. The woman says she has certain feelings of love to the point where she marries in a large symbolic gesture implying she intends to spend her live with just one man–both emotionally, physically and sexually. These are all the trust building elements, and the actual affair is the point of betrayal. Whether the man finds out or not, he has still been betrayed. The betrayal grows ever worse the longer the woman denies telling the man about her infidelity.
Betrayal is the act of building trust and then using that trust for personal gain. It often involves breaking the trust and often involves lying. Betrayal is anything that acts out of the interest of a something or someone when that something or someone has been lead to believe that would not happen.